I've been trying to find my place. And when I think of it, this song comes to mind. I think in some ways I feel like Elphaba. Just not sure where I fit some times. This song makes me laugh when I hear it.
I've never wanted to be popular until I married. I'm not seeking popularity. I just want to know where I belonged and how I fit into my new circumstances as a wife and then as a mother. And in the whole mix, who I was/am?
My defense mechanism is (and always has been) to not share information about me. With my best efforts, I found out as much about others as I possible could. It became a sort of game. Through my "game" I've limited myself from some real friendships and let myself be lonely. A lonely place.
So in accordance with my goal to be happy with me, I don't play the game. And when I notice that I am playing the "game" I stop or at least try. So I'm trying out a new place.
One place I know that I'm always popular is at home with my family. They need me, and I need them. So in the end, I have a place and am very popular!